Mar 30th, 2011, 23:49 | #1 |
Senior Member
注册日期: Apr 2009
帖子: 1,176
|
笑话1
Two young guys were at a party in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of thunder and rain. The two ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other. All of a sudden an old Indian man's face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on the window! The passenger screamed out, Eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's an old Indian guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?!?!?!?) The old Indian man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!" So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want???" The old Indian softly replied, "You have any tobacco?" The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!" "Well offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies. So the passenger fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette, rolling up the window in terror and yells, "Step on it!!!" Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they start laughing again. The passenger says, "What did you think of that?" The driver says, "I don't know. How could that be? I'm going pretty fast?" All of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock on the window and the old Indian man is looking in the window. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! There he is again!", the passenger yells. "Well see what he wants now! " yells back the driver. The passenger rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says "Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old Indian quietly asks. The passenger throws a lighter out the window at him, rolls up the window and again yells, "STEP ON IT!" They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard. Suddenly, again there is more knocking! "Oh my God! HE'S BACK!" He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in stark fear. The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?" |
|
Mar 30th, 2011, 23:50 | 只看该作者 #2 |
Senior Member
注册日期: Apr 2009
帖子: 1,176
声望: 24245433
|
笑话2
There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population and young George was pretty excited. "Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?" asked George. "George, relax. Here is how it works. We'll wait until they're lined up at the feed trough so we can have our way with the ladies in a nice orderly fashion." said Sam. "Okay, I can do that." George answered. Well, feeding time came and all the heifers were lined up just like Sam said and George was all excited to go down there but Sam had a few more instructions. "Now George, here is how this is gonna work. I'll start at one end and you can start at the other. We'll meet in the middle" said Sam. "OK, OK, let's go!" said George. "Hang on George!. One more important thing to remember. These gals will let us have our way but you have to show some respect and be polite. OK?" said Sam. "Sure, sure" says George, "Let's go!" Well, they go on down to the heifers all lined up. George starts at one end and Sam at the other. George is pretty excited, but he remembers Sam's instructions about being polite, so as he is going along he makes sure to say - "Thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, sorry Sam, thank you ma'am..." |
|
Mar 30th, 2011, 23:51 | 只看该作者 #3 |
Senior Member
注册日期: Apr 2009
帖子: 1,176
声望: 24245433
|
笑话3
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: 'Pierre, kiss me!' Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips. 'What are you doing, Pierre?', says the startled Marie. 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine! She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, 'Pierre, kiss me lower.' Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. 'Pierre! What are you doing?', asks the bewildered Marie. 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!' They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, 'Pierre, kiss me lower!' Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, 'PIERRE, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?' Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, 'I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!' |
|
感谢 仁者心动 此篇文章之用户: |
格物.致知.诚意.正心 (Mar 30th, 2011) |