A Blonde & Her Cookbook (ZT)

[greenpepper]

A Blonde & Her Cookbook

MONDAY;

It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said to
beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some
extra bowls.

TUESDAY;

Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said to serve without
dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend
home for dinner.
WEDNESDAY;

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the
rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it
improved the rice any.

THURSDAY;

Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare
ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom
asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put ingredients in bowl and
beat it. There must have been something wrong with the recipe. When I got
back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY:

Tom did the shopping and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it
for Sunday (Oh Boy). For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY:

Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was
hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the
oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to
my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY: This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose


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CHILDBIRTH

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon
their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would
transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked
if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.


The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even
10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor
to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was
still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was
amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel
quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the
husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife
delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were
ecstatic.

When they got home however, they found their mailman dead on the porch .