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旧 Jun 7th, 2005, 22:20     #1
陌上寒烟
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默认 笑到几乎抽筋:那么平凡的我只是随便打扮了一下,没想到路人都回头看我,脸红*^^*

ZT:
今天有一个聚会,是几个朋友想要聚一聚。我想,她们都带BF来,我虽然木有,但是输人不能输阵,又或者能遇几个朋友带来的朋友,里面恰巧有单身又英俊的,能骗到手玩弄一下。
于是我就特意买了一套新衣服,和一只很正点的口红想要美一哈。
我在家折腾了各把小时,照了90几次镜,然后觉得还可以了我就出门儿了。本来在骑自行车,骑到不知道是哪里,我靠突然窜出一只狗跟着我。我木有养过狗,也不知道是什么狗,总之黄黄的特猥琐的那种,它忽然对我恶狠狠的嘶吼,好凶啊!然后突然加快了步伐貌似要咬我。我吓得狂蹬自行车,我骑得越快那只疯狂的狗它跑得就越快,有几次咬到我的裤脚了。
我当时真是吓坏了,根本不敢停,边狂蹬边喊;救~~~~~~~命~~~啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
然后路人全部看向我。
然后我百忙中听见后面有一个人喊:花花~~~(或者是欢欢~~~因为我太惊慌了木有听清楚……)
原来是那个狗的主人,那个人骑着一辆轻骑在后面追我们。但是那只狗完全失控了,死了心眼的想要咬我!!!!
于是我们仨,一个狂吼:救命啊~~~~~
一个大叫:呜~~~汪~~~~~汪~~~~~~~~~呜~汪~~~~~~~
一个怒吼:花花~~~(或者“欢欢~~~~~”)
我当时完全是疯了,
路上的人可能都惊呆了,也不知道是哪个***,忽然朝我这里扔了一个包子还大声说:我把狗引开!!(我真他妈的想抽他!!!把狗引开为什么朝我扔包子!!!!)
于是一路上又纷纷有人朝我扔也不知道什么乱七八糟的东西!!!
我们三个烈火狂奔了一阵……终于都崩溃了……
然后我先停下来了,我当时脑子一片空白,我想你爷爷的!死就死吧!不知道打狂犬育苗和缝针火化墓地都要花多少钱……
结果我停下来后那只变态的狗也停下来了,它就看着我,闻了我一下,忽然非常不屑一顾的走开了!!!!!!!
我和狗的主人当时完全失控了,安静了一分钟,然后互相对骂了好长时间,不知所云的说了很多脏话,想停下来但是就是停不下来……最后发展到纯抒情式的说脏话了……根本不在乎是在骂谁了……
着一路上,路人纷纷驻足观赏,不胜唏嘘……或喜或悲或惊或叹……当时估计李嘉欣在都没有人气高了……
最后我郁闷之极,裤腿都烂了,一点去玩的兴致都木有了,我找了个非常无稽的理由把约会推掉了,然后很不甘心的去麦当劳买了一个巨无霸,一盒麦乐鸡一杯冰淇淋,买了一大堆碟子回家狂吃狂看……

''In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.'' --- Fitzwilliam Darcy
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旧 Jun 7th, 2005, 23:22   只看该作者   #2
六里台
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默认

没看懂...
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旧 Jun 7th, 2005, 23:28   只看该作者   #3
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默认

像我们家芙蓉姐的文笔.
其实就是现代版的狂人日记啦
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旧 Jun 7th, 2005, 23:29   只看该作者   #4
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默认

引用:
作者: 六里台
没看懂...
没看懂是正常的,看懂了就麻烦了
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旧 Jun 8th, 2005, 13:10   只看该作者   #5
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默认

是美女与野兽吗?不过通过这一段又不像美女:[QUOTE]她们都带BF来,我虽然木有,但是输人不能输阵,又或者能遇几个朋友带来的朋友,里面恰巧有单身又英俊的,能骗到手玩弄一下。[QUOTE]
养狗的人应该道歉才对啊,怎么还跟被追的吵架?
确实很扫兴,同情!
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旧 Jun 8th, 2005, 13:16   只看该作者   #6
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Question

我有点晕!
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旧 Jun 8th, 2005, 19:37   只看该作者   #7
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Unhappy

??

成功贷款 • Mortgage Agent
Cell: 647-606-6605
Email:jeff.song.mortgage@gmail.com
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旧 Jun 10th, 2005, 08:59   只看该作者   #8
alfaromeo
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默认

哈哈,不错嘛,挺搞笑的。比芙蓉那个自恋的家伙强太多了。
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旧 Jun 13th, 2005, 23:12   只看该作者   #9
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默认

深表同情.

偶也是怕狗.如果迎面有人遛狗走过来,我会靠边站住,等他们过去我才

继续走.有点象开车时让警车.

本故事完全真实 如有类同 纯属巧合
版权所有 不得翻录
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旧 Jun 15th, 2005, 12:33   只看该作者   #10
六里台
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默认

我终于研究明白了

是说那家伙化完妆象狗吗?

---忽然朝我这里扔了一个包子还大声说:我把狗引开!!

---结果我停下来后那只变态的狗也停下来了,它就看着我,闻了我一下,忽然非常不屑一顾的走开了!!!!!!!
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旧 Jun 15th, 2005, 12:47   只看该作者   #11
陌上寒烟
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默认

mm出门赴约,被狗追咬,主人紧追,路人施救(by扔东东吸引狗)无效,mm放弃逃命,狗亦弃之,mm羞愤交加,与狗主口角,终成一景。
看过不好笑就算了,本来就是个人感觉。
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