【转帖】【推荐】社论转载：2007年精彩花絮

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http://www.chinesenewsgroup.com/SMPA...e=6&artId=7692

社论转载：2007年精彩花絮
Worth repeating: Day of the :-), and other hits of 2007
(2007-12-28 下午05:00),
战火硝烟弥漫，经济萧条，政治拉锯战仍在上演。虽然我们在全年的社论中不断地谈论这些沉重话题，但今天我们将换个角度，回顾一年中一些轻松的片断，那些未上过国际报道头条、却对我们理解全球事件仍至关重要的点滴花絮。

Wars rage, the economy is shaky and the sport of politics continues to draw blood. But on this page, where such topics are tackled on other days of the year, today is different. Today is a time for reviewing the lighter elements of the year, the international reports that didn't quite make it to the front page but are nonetheless crucial to any understanding of world events.

那些想要偷东西的人，今年并未如愿。一名男子试图在南加州开一个账户，他给银行出纳一张面额为100万的钞票。他天真地以为那位受过培训的银行雇员不知道天下根本就没有面额为100万的美钞。在佐治亚州，两名少年偷了一名男子的车钥匙，当成功跳上这辆本田雅阔车时，却被这辆车的手动档配置所难倒。他们只好跳下车并逃到树林中，最后被警察捕获。毫无疑问，他们被自动定罪，要干点动手的活了。

It wasn't a good year for would-be thieves. A man tried to open an account in South Carolina by giving the teller a $1-million bill, foolishly assuming a trained bank employee wouldn't know there was no such bill. In Georgia, two teenagers stole a man's car keys and jumped into his Accord, but were stymied by the vehicle's manual transmission. They jumped out of the car and into the woods, where police caught them. No doubt they received an automatic sentence of manual labour.

加州Anaheim的警方发现了一名“有烂泥味道”的银行劫匪，并将其称为山水强盗。Tim Schmidt警官说：“他的体味并非因为很久不洗澡，只是因为他长期在打通向银行的隧道。”安省Walkerton的一位醉驾嫌犯在拒绝接受呼吸测试酒精程度时，喝下了他的隐性眼睛药水，吞下他的一片隐性眼睛，而当警方试图阻止他时，他正试图吃自己的袜子，以及他的衬衣。由于他坚决不听警察的劝阻，警察只好向他喷胡椒粉。鉴于他醉得不成样子，我们有理由相信他以为警察在给他所吃的东西加调料呢。

Police in Anaheim, Calif., sought a bank robber who "smells like dirt" and has been called the Landscape Bandit. "It's not like he hasn't bathed in months," said Sergeant Tim Schmidt. "It's just he's been outside working in the dirt." A suspected drunk driver in Walkerton, Ont., refused to take a breath test. Instead, he drank his contact-lens fluid, swallowed one of his lenses and was attempting to eat his socks and part of his shirt when police moved to stop him. He resisted so strongly that they used pepper spray, which in his state he likely assumed was seasoning.

在接到某人的投诉，称有有毒化学物品泄漏后，警方封锁了这家位于伦敦中心地带的泰式餐馆周围的街区。事实是，这位餐馆主人Chalemchai Tangjariyapoon正在配制他的独家辣椒酱。当看到消防队员们带着毒气专家闯入他的名为“泰国别墅”的餐馆后，他感到异常惊讶。他倍感伤心地表示：“我能够理解非泰国人是无法了解这种辣酱的，但它闻起来并不像化学制剂。”

Police closed the streets around a Thai restaurant in central London after someone complained of a leak of dangerous chemicals. In fact, owner Chalemchai Tangjariyapoon had been preparing his nam prik pao chili sauce and was surprised to see firefighters smash down the Thai Cottage's door with hazardous-materials specialists in tow. "I can understand why people who weren't Thai would not know what it was," he said with a wounded tone. "But it doesn't smell like chemicals."

曼哈顿的一家餐馆添加了一道标价2.5万美金的甜点。这一“豪华巧克力冰淇淋”包括了28种可可豆，以及少量可食用金粉，其中还暗藏了一个18K的金镯、上面镶有多个一卡拉的白钻。如果你看到享用它的人说：“嗯，嚼起来脆脆的。”那你最好赶快阻止他不要吞下去。

A Manhattan restaurant introduced a dessert with a price tag of $25,000. Its "Frozen Haute Chocolate" mixes 28 varieties of cocoa with a dash of edible 23-karat gold and conceals an 18-karat gold bracelet with one carat of white diamonds. If the person you serve it to says, "Mmm, crunchy," best to intervene quickly.

在奥地利的Steyr，当一位新娘在婚礼中被问是否接受新郎成为她合法的丈夫，这位新娘开玩笑的回答“不愿意”。主持婚礼的官员立即停止了婚礼，并要求双方在两个半月后再回来重办仪式。在奥地利的另一个村庄，该村被恰当地称为Villach村，新婚夫妇和30位宾客在一家饭店享用完炸肉排和烤猪之后甩手逃单。当他们被带到执法官员面前时，他们解释说自己不喜欢那些食物，也不喜欢饭店的环境。是不是那位Chalemchai Tangjariyapoon帮这家饭店调制了菜的口味？

In Steyr, Austria, when the bride was asked in a civil ceremony whether she took the groom to be her lawfully wedded husband, she said "no" as a joke. The official immediately halted the ceremony and told the pair to come back 2½ months later to try it all again. In another Austrian village, appropriately called Villach, newlyweds and 30 guests stuffed themselves with schnitzel and pork roast at an inn and fled without paying. When hauled before the authorities, they explained they didn't like the food and the ambience. Was Chalemchai Tangjariyapoon helping out with the recipes?

房地产新闻开始占据商业版的大幅版面，而真正的商业新闻却排在了房屋装修版里了。德国Sonneberg的一位男子对他的离婚结局非常不满，他将原来住的木制独立屋锯成两半，并用卡车拉走了自己的那一半。一位男子打算在俄亥俄州Hilsboro购买一处房子，但遭到拒绝，一气之下他使用电动锯将这一房子拦腰裁成两半，他给什么是复合式住房定下了新的注解。在纽约市，一位法官听到一个案件中的夫妻双方均不善待对方，最终气愤地决定不听取任何一方的意见来判这个房子，而是要求他们在这幢位于布鲁克林的三层房子里建起一堵墙。妻子得到第三层以及第二层的厨房，而丈夫被判得第一层的起居室以及第二层的餐厅。如果说这个案件中的判得是否公平的话，那就是陪审团把他们俩同时扔进了狗窝。

Housing starts occupied the business pages, but the real news was in housing finishes. A man in Sonneberg, Germany, was so upset about his divorce that he sawed the wooden family bungalow in two and carted half of it away on a truck. A man who was denied the chance to buy a house in Hillsboro, Ohio, used a power saw to slice the building in two with a horizontal cut at chest height - giving new meaning to the term split-level. In New York City, a jury heard the case of a husband and wife who treated each other so badly, and refused so vehemently to vacate the house in each other's favour, that a judge ordered them to build a wall through their three-storey Brooklyn brownstone. She got the third floor and the second-floor kitchen; he got the first-floor living room and the second-floor dining room. If there was any justice, the jury put them both in the doghouse.

有消息称，德国Jena大学的研究人员花费了三年时间，想让一只树熊能沿着一个杆子爬上来又爬下去。他们用黄瓜以及意大利面来诱惑这只名叫Mats的动物，但是他一点也不动心。不知道他们有没有试那份开价2.5万的甜点。

News arrived that researchers at the University of Jena in Germany had been trying for three years to get a sloth to climb up and down a pole. They tried to lure the animal, named Mats, with cucumbers and spaghetti, but he wasn't biting. Have they tried a $25,000 dessert?

那些思想保守的泰国军官要求驾车者在每日国旗升降以及国歌响起的时候停下车辆。退休的将军Pricha Rochanasena解释道：“国歌的时间只有一分八秒，驾车者们为什么不能为了祖国停一会车呢？反正他们已经被堵在路上了。”泰国议会已将这一法案提交到委员会，不过他们担心这一爱国法案会制造“混乱”。

Conservative forces in Thailand urged that motorists be forced to stop their cars twice a day as the country's flag was raised or lowered and the national anthem was played. "The national anthem lasts only one minute and eight seconds," explained retired general Pricha Rochanasena, "so why can't motorists stop their cars for the sake of the country? They already spend more time in traffic jams anyway." The National Legislative Assembly sent the bill to committee, fearing that this brand of patriotism might be "chaotic."

如果以上想法是添乱的话，那么下面这件事算不算是混乱呢？当Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co.公司在俄罗斯电视台上准备播放了一支口香糖广告后，他们要求配一段活泼的曲子。莫斯科Omni组织的广告部门主任Igor Kirkchi从一家英国公司买下了这么一支曲子。不幸的是，这支曲子竟然是中国国歌《义勇军进行曲》。《人民日报》对此抗议，称将国歌作为广告背景音乐“玷污了中国的国家尊严”，中国驻莫斯科大使馆也提出抗议。这家公司也不想引起两国关系的僵化，就把这个广告给撤了。

Call that chaos? When Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co. produced a chewing-gum commercial for Russian television, it asked for a rousing musical score. Igor Kirkchi, general director of an advertising subsidiary of Moscow's Omni group, bought just such a tune from an English company. Unfortunately, it turned out to be China's national anthem, March of the Volunteers. The People's Daily newspaper protested that using the anthem as backing music had "harmed the dignity of China," the Chinese embassy in Moscow lodged a protest, and the company, not wishing to gum up international relations, yanked the commercial off the air.

在日本大阪，在线服装销售公司的一位31岁的雇员对他的老板不在乎一份果冻糖礼物的行为非常气愤，最终他捣毁了公司的22台电脑。Hallmark是否可以发行这样一种贺卡，上面写着：，“我觉得你会喜欢我送给你的礼物。/你的行为太残酷了。/我不知道自己为什么那么不礼貌。/原谅我的鲁莽。”

In Osaka, Japan, a 31-year-old employee of an online clothing sales company was so upset when his boss paid scant attention to a gift of jelly candies that he destroyed 22 computers in the office. Hallmark has yet to issue an opportune line of greeting cards: "I thought you'd like the gift I sent./ Your conduct was sadistic./ I don't know where my manners went./ Forgive my going ballistic."

Carnegie Mellon大学的教授Scott E. Fahlman说，他是第一个在文字中使用:-)作为笑脸的人，如果他所说没错的话，今年是这个笑脸的第25岁生日。这一次，他可能会用;-)来庆祝。

If Carnegie Mellon University professor Scott E. Fahlman is correct in saying he was the first person ever to use :-) to indicate a smiley face in text, the emoticon celebrated its 25th birthday this year. Then again, he may have been ;-).

在密苏里州一个监狱中，一个囚室中的犯人们帮助一位女狱友同另一个囚室中的男狱友见面。他们用铁钉、金属丝和牙刷在墙上挖了个隧道，让她从中通过去，并使用牙膏和面糊来封堵墙上的漏洞，好让预警察觉不出来。真聪明！如果有人饿了的话，可以直接从墙上刮些面糊来充饥，同时你也可以清洗你的牙齿。

In a Missouri jail, prisoners in one cell wanted to help a female inmate visit a male prisoner in the next cell. They used a nail, wire and toothbrush to claw a block from the wall so she could slip through, and used a mixture of toothpaste and pancake batter to simulate the missing mortar so the guards wouldn't catch on. Very efficient: If you get hungry and nibble on the wall, you'll be cleaning your teeth at the same time.

辛辛那提大学的Julia Taylor和Lawrence Mazlack研发了一种软件让机器人来辨识那些突发场景下的词语，并教它说“哈哈”。这可以让机器人看上去更象个人，即使机器人目前只能听懂一些简单的话。的确，这刚好正是现代工作场所所需的，这个机器能够鼓励那些办公室中爱开玩笑的人多搞一点搞笑的噱头。

Julia Taylor and Lawrence Mazlack of the University of Cincinnati developed software that cues a robot to recognize when words are used in unexpected contexts, and to say "ha, ha." The point is to make the robot seem friendlier to humans by appearing to understand basic jokes, though its comprehension is limited at this point to word play. Yes, that's just what the modern workplace needs: a machine that encourages the office joker to increase his dissemination of lame puns.

加州公司的一位雇员是负责剪辑电影里裸露、粗话、暴力和猥亵镜头。为了剪辑Helen Mirren的电影《女王》，他忙了一整天。他觉得“上帝救助女皇”这句话不大恰当，就对七处提及上帝的地方进行了消音处理。最终被观众投诉，这家加州公司对此道歉。估计道歉用语也将同样被剪辑成：“G-sh, we're s-rry.”

An employee of a California company that excises nudity, swearing, extreme violence and profanity from movies had a field day with the Helen Mirren film The Queen. None of this "God save the Queen" nonsense for him; he bleeped out all seven mentions of God. When viewers complained, the California firm apologized. Likely wording: "G-sh, we're s-rry."

伊利诺斯州的Geoge Hood决定通过在一辆固定在地板上的自行车上骑82小时以上来赢得一项吉尼斯世界纪录。当他的支持者们告诉他已经完成85小时时，他觉得自己创立了这项纪录。但无奈吉尼斯的官员称Hood的朋友在读表和加减时间上“出了大错。”。谁会觉得你在一个车上骑了3天半，却哪都没去呢？

George Hood of Illinois set out to win a berth in The Guinness Book of Records by cycling more than 82 hours on a stationary bike. He thought he had it made when his supporters told him he had completed 85 hours. Alas, the Guinness authorities said his friends had made "fundamental flaws" in addition, subtraction and reading of a 24-hour clock. Who'd have thought you could ride a stationary bike for 3½ days and get nowhere?

一家日本公司表示他们将销售一种方形测试器，当猫或狗将爪子放在这块东西上时，可以通过测量其排汗量来计算动物的焦虑程度。如果汗过多，这意味着宠物需要照顾或者辅导、或者它们过于自负。不对，也许它们刚在公园里跑了一个小时。

A Japanese company said it would soon sell a patch that, when placed on a paw, could calculate a dog's or cat's level of anxiety by measuring its perspiration. Too much sweat would mean that the pet needed care, or counselling, or a greater sense of self-worth. Or, perhaps, that it had been running around the park for an hour.

一位27岁男子在慕尼黑啤酒节上喝醉后爬上房顶，以爬进朋友的公寓。他还没来得及说声“即使我没醉，这么干也是太可笑了”前，便一个倒栽葱，掉到一个烟囱里，并卡在里面12个小时。这无疑为圣诞老人们树立了一个好榜样。

A 27-year-old man who got drunk at Munich's Oktoberfest beer festival climbed onto a roof to reach his friend's apartment. Before he could say, "This would be a stupid move even if I were sober," he slid head first into the chimney and was stuck there for 12 hours. So much for Santa Claus being a good role model.

接下来的最后一个故事是：装修图书馆需要集资。为此，维也纳的官员们开通了一条“性爱热线”。打这个电话的人只要支付每分钟60分的费用，就可听到一位奥地利女演员朗读过去三个世纪中色情书籍的片断。可以想象，这个女演员在朗读时，其身后一定会站着一位图书馆馆员，不断提醒她：嘘，小声点。

And finally, to raise money for library renovations, officials in Vienna started a "sex hotline." Callers who paid the equivalent of 60 cents a minute could hear an Austrian actress read excerpts from erotica of the past three centuries. Presumably with a librarian over her shoulder saying, "Ssshhhh!"

编注：以上是加拿大全国发行的最大日报——《环球邮报》2007年12月26日发表的社论。王晴编译。